So far...

I had three outta five classes today at college.

How do I feel about them?

THE GOOD:

*I actually didn't mind seeing so many people I knew, it made me adapt a lot quicker.

*I like two of my teachers, both women. My college study teacher is unimportant to me so I don't care that I don't like him, that class isn't really as crucial as my other two. It's a required freshman seminar type thing.

*I only know about 2 or 3 people in each class, less than I expected.

*My friend and I who I was worried about having tension between (we got into a fairly large fight over the summer) have 3 classes together and are getting along great just like we used to.

THE BAD:

*So far no eye candy. None, nada, zilp, zero, zilch. There are tons of pretty girls my age, guys my age? Next to none. There are a lot of fat smelly men though. NO THANKS.

*My classes are small, I kinda was hoping for at least my ENG101 to be a fairly large sized class.

*High school was a cake walk compared to this. I'm actually going to have to flex my brain muscles to get the grades I want. Keeping up lots of studying plus working 3 shifts (which I probably should work less but I CAN'T AFFORD TO!! COLLEGE IS TOO FAR AND GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!) and keeping Callie in shape, I got a lot on my plate. Kinda sucks, hopefully it'll be okay though

Very excited for my two classes tomorrow, Psychology and World Civilization. I love history and psychology, my two favorite subject areas :) :)

I can't wait to start getting more history classes and less general studies bull shit.

Yap yap yap.

I start college in two days. Freaking out mentally a little bit. Don't know what to make of it. I think I'm just excited to have an excuse to get ready in the mornings and look presentable to the world, because summer to me is all about the no make-up, throw my hair up, put on glasses a t shirt and sweats and roll with it. I like looking pretty, though, only if I have a reason.

I'm contemplating going away to college after a year (or two) of wor-wic. I kinda want to try my hand at being independent and being put in a situation where I almost never get alone time to see how I handle it. PLUS I REALLY NEED NEW PEOPLE IN MY LIFE, and if I don't get "new" at wor-wic there's no way I'm staying. I only have really 3 people I hung out with this summer, and I love them all to death and that's fine, it's not even my girlfriends I need new of. More so.. new men? Haha. Yes, new men.

My friends all went south for college, and keep telling me of all the southern gentlemen they're finding. hmph. Jealousy ensues.

I saw Blink-182 for free as I previously mentioned I think two weekends ago and it was amazing. I almost didn't get to see them because since the entire show was free there were 290348290384 people there and they blocked off the amphitheater for a certain amount of people. Luckily, we snuck into the VIP section with no problems and got to see them O:) Muahaha! I love Blink 182. I also that day got to see Taking Back Sunday, Jet and Weezer, AND got some shopping in at the Columbia Mall, which is a 5 minute walk from where the concert was. So cool! Got an adorable little red plaid dress from Forever 21 for 20 bucks. Cha-ching??

Callie has been SO GOOD lately that I'm nearly flabbergasted. I almost cannot explain how good she's been. When I got her five (six?) years ago, I would of never imagined making this kind of progress with her. She's a new horse, it's awesome! Kudos to Callie and I! :P I have two more shows this year, both the biggest shows of the year. One more event (dressage/stadium/cross country) and we're moving up to pre-novice for the first time this season.. meaning a harder dressage test, and bigger jumps and a longer jump course. She'll do great, I'm very confident!

I also have a two day dressage show the weekend before my birthday (which falls on a monday, SOOOO lame). The fact that all the local dressage trainers encouraged me to go to this was uplifting. It means Callie's making enough progress that they're going to let me on their team, meaning they're confident we'll do well! YAY!

On a final note: I have a strong love for pitbull dogs. I don't know why- maybe it's because there are so many people who are intimidated by them because of their shitty reputation

maybe it's because there's a surplus of them. I juts really want to have a pitbull and show everyone how sweet and wonderful they can be. They're adorable dogs, a girl I work with owns one who from what I hear is the greatest dog ever, she absolutely loves her. I want one that looks like this one --->

They're considered "blue" even though they're grey-ish. Just the color classification I guess.

So I'm going to have my Corgi boy, Luigi.. and a pitbull girl, Daisy! Aha! I need to stop planning ahead, it'll make the future come that much slower, LOL!

and while I'm showing you my puppies of the future, here's a corgi puppy:

Blah blah..

I'm so stoked, I got a ticket to go to Virgin Mobile Festival this Sunday with Rachel in DC!! I GET TO SEE BLINK-182!! :) Jet will also be there, Girl talk, Franz Ferdinand, Weezer, Taking Back Sunday and many more.

I also got a haircut today. I was going to get it shorter, but my hair dresser was like NOOOO I like your long hair.. so instead we cut my bangs and cut my layers shorter. It looks nice! I posted a picture on facebook.

Trying a whole out with the old, in with the new attempt at life since I've been in such a slump lately. I'm trying to bring a lot of changes in with the coming of college.. we'll see how it goes.

:)

Hmm..

I'm going to Ocean City for a week this upcoming week, I'm TOTALLY excited. I need a break from life.

I'm also going to the Baltimore Aquarium with Taylor and her new boyfriend, Will (they are the cutest couple, I'm so happy for her!) soon. I LOVE SEA LIFE OMG!! I'm way overdue on my fish seeing quota. I think I should live at Sea World. I, like every other kid in the world, wanna train the killer whales and shit. How cool would that be?!?

I'm currently yelling at Tricia and Taylor to "be nice" to one another because they are currently under my bed tickling each other and bumping their heads on the top of the bed.

and that's my story.

Internet becoming a bad thing?

I don't like the constant harping on what I'm doing via the computer, its an extremely overwhelming feeling.. it really just makes me wanna stop using facebook/my blog/twitter/myspace, but that's all I have to keep in contact with my friends dammit! I can't win.

Since when

was it okay for exboyfriends to party with YOUR friends? People they've never hung out with outside of you, and maybe only hung out with 2 or 3 times.

Never, that's when.

Both people are severely at fault.

What kind of friends invite your ex to parties anyway, and stop inviting you? Not real friends. This is why they are no longer considered friends.

TO HELL WITH 'EM! :)

xoxoxoxoxo

Ugh.

I've not been inspired to update this lately,

But I'm gonna put it to use and use it to vent..

It's 1 am and I'm having practically an anxiety attack and I cannot sleep. I've been so overwhelmed lately, I just wanna spend a day in bed and cuddle with my best friend Taylor and watch stupid movies and eat buckets of ice cream. I cannot remember the last time I spent an entire day vegging out, because I've been so focused on keeping busy to keep my mind off being lonely. I don't handle lonely-ness well, even if I'm better off alone. I like having someone there to share my thoughts and dreams with. I'm like, regressing. I was doing so well at first, and I'm just getting worse.

I keep having nightmares, I think it's gonna stick with me for a lot longer than I thought.

Then theres my family who have a million problems that anyone who reads this already knows about and they stress me out and I get worrysome.

I'm afraid to leave my mommy in 4 years and move out because I'm afraid she's gonna cry everyday and I don't wanna be the reason for that saddness. The older I get the more attached to one another I think we get.

Communication is such a big deal for me. If anyone has even the most minimal of a problem with me I wanna know as soon as they come to terms with it, and I've never been lucky enough to have anyone like that in my life. I soon hope to.

I'm not excited for college. I'm so upset that everyone is leaving, I see facebook status' every other day from my friends "leaving for such and such college in two days" and it devastates me that I didn't spend time with all the people I wanted to this summer. There are so many people that are leaving, and I haven't seen them since graduation in May, when I had plans to hang out with them over the summer. I feel like a crappy friend.

BLAH. I need a cuddle buddy. :(