Woopsy.

Sorry I never update anymore. Most of you know why I don't. :S

Life's been pretty stressful lately. As most of you know, my Aunt died about two weeks ago. I found out after a loooooong shift at work, walked in the house at 11 pm on a Wednesday and my dad came out of the bedroom and told me. I took it pretty hard. I immediately called my cousin Zac and just sobbed. I didn't know what to think, or say, neither did he. We were both shocked really. Because I mean we never talk to my Aunt, but when we were younger we both loved her dearly, as we still did to this day, but the older we got the less we saw her.
That Saturday I worked a 10-4 shift and found out that a really good friend of mine from work had committed suicide. He was a cook I was very close with, he almost took me "under his wing" so to say when I first started working there. Whenever I'd come into the kitchen at the beginning of the shift I always got such a warm greeting from him, "KAAAATTTIIIIEEEEE!!!!". He always was a pleasure and we had a lot in common music-wise so I'd always tell him about my concerts I'd go to.
Then I have this guy who's been really creeping on me and I keep trying to get him to go away and he won't. He rang me up at gamestop once and got my name and such and looked me up online and added me on myspace. Quite weird. There's more to that story that I'm not publishing to the public.

My family from NY/NC just departed today. I had a lot of fun while they were all here, but I'm exhausted. I didn't get to sleep in at all on my break until today, and if you know me.. you know I love sleep. It's almost a hobby! We all had Thanksgiving dinner at my Grandmothers Thursday, then on Friday we sat around and played video games and ate food. Rather enjoyable if I do say so myself!

After my friend passed at work, a co-worker and I got into a discussion after being rather slow at work. She just randomly turned to me and was like, "Do you ever think about how we go through life and work so hard to do all these things just to inevitably reach death at some point?" and it really got my head spinning. Why do we? For the temporary satisfaction we can get? What if you don't even get any satisfaction out of the daily things you do in your life? Why do them? You're just gonna die some day, who cares? I've been on a 2pac (a rapper) kick lately, and one of his songs with Notorious B.I.G. called Runnin' basically talks about the same thing, here's the chorus:

now i wonder if they'll laugh when im dead
why am i fighting to live, if im just living to fight?
why am I trying to see when there aint nothin in sight?
why am i trying to give when no one gives me a try?
why am i dying to live, if im just living to die?

The last line reminded me of what my friend was saying. I don't mean to be like a pessimist or emo or anything by any stretch of the imagination. But really, why do people work their asses off, work jobs they hate, and not enjoy life, ESPECIALLY if they're just gonna inevitably die one day? I cannot even fathom having a job I hated. Sure, I have my moments with my current job, but it's not my career, and it's part-time.
My current job has shown me a lot of people who really struggle to make a living, there are so many waitresses there who are in their early to mid twenties and have kids and work full time and never get to see them, and have husbands/boyfriends who just do not give a crap. I really feel for my one co-worker, Ashley. She's the sweetest, funniest woman.. she's so intelligent and has so much potential to do so much more than what she is, but she came from a really messed up family. Her mother is a whack-o and she has two little brothers who she just wishes she could save because they are stuck with her messed up mother but she cannot afford to make a living for herself, her son, her boyfriend AND her two brothers and it constantly breaks her heart. The other day, one of our day-time bartenders named Cheri who is in probably her mid-fifties, told Ashley she would love to be her "mother" and how much Ashley reminds her of a daughter she never had. Ashley started bawling and hugged her and told her how much that meant to her and how she just always feels alone. And then there goes the Katie water-works because I'm just a giant sap. Haha!

With all that being said, and everything that's happened lately, I'm really going to be trying to live for the moment. I don't want to dwell on the past, because that is what brings me sadness. It's only got to get better from here.
Here's to tomorrow, next week, next year.. the future; and whatever it holds.

Why is my brother singing Taylor Swift..? -_-

I never update this thing, I'm sorry! I always look at it because I have it bookmarked and I'm like "hm.. I should update" But I lack motivation, I do enough writing in college now that I usually cannot be bothered.. But right now I can!
I've been super busy with college(work load is a lot)/callie/job/friends/boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, you all already know so I'm not going into detail, sorry!)
I had a horse show like, in the beginning of the month? Went up a level, from intro to pre-novice, and did rather well. 40 dressage score, clean cross country and stadium except I skipped a jumping going cross country, epic fail. Don't wanna think about it ahahah.
I have a dressage show called Chapter Challenge at the end of the month (Halloween/my birthday weekend) which I'm pretty excited for. It's an over night show, too!
Mish, my friend who used to ride with me has recently been coming down to Jen's with me and riding, it's so nice to have her back in my life. We used to be extremely close- and it sucked when we stopped hanging out.. but upon her break-up with her jerk now ex-boyfriend, I get to see her more often again! He was an anti-social hermit who gave her shit every time she hung out with me. Lame-o? Yes.
Been playing an outrageous amount of Xbox 360 lately. Mostly Gears of War, some Call of Duty and just got a new game called Prototype. It's good because it keeps me less tempted to go back to World of Warcraft (although the temptation is still there, thanks to Broseph, it's much smaller). Another thing that's keeping me away from WoW is the past 2 papers I've written in English I wrote on video game addiction (one was illustrative, where you told experiences you've witnessed of your topic, most recent one was cause/effect) and the research I gotta do on it makes me realize how lame MMORPGs (Massive multi-player online role-playing games) are.
It's the time of year where we're gonna start getting hella busy at work. I'm excited for money purposes, but I remember being constantly exhausted at school during this time of year. Hopefully I'm gonna be waitressing within the next month or two, making the money even better, and hopefully also decreasing the work load (busing is seriously slave work and less than half the pay).
I got a new phone! The EnV3. So far I like it, it's already a little glitchy, though. Like it randomly turns off when I go to look at My Pictures, or even though I have my text messages on auto-erase, it claims my inbox is full and won't receive any new messages. Laaaaaaaaaame. Other then that it's shiny and new and pretty and I haven't destroyed it yet so YAY! Also it holds a charge which is amazing. My old phone died in half a day, which was very agitating.
aaaaand that's about it. I'm boring, sue me.

Another thing

I'M SO PUMPED IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!!

GIANTS!!

I had

3 weird dreams last night, and since this is MY blog, I'm going to talk about them!

Dream #1: Nico decided he didn't want to be an eventer anymore, he wanted to do hunters (a different style of horseback riding) so I supported him and did it too. While jumping at a show, Gulliver broke both his legs and a like.. hellicopter had to come in and they strapped Gulliver to the hellicopter and took him away. I refused to let Callie out of my site from then on in the dream.

Dream #1 kinda meshed into dream #2 which was after the Gully incident Taylor and I were at my house, both getting texts from some crazy number that was like 6987-900000000000 and it was saying shit like "Please don't leave the house, he's trying to get you. I LOVE YOU XOXOX" I don't know, very friggin' weird. And since this is a dream, of course we go outside anyway. We were each going into our cars to leave, and Taylor's wouldn't start. In mine, there was a guy sitting in the passengers seat dressed like Altair from Assassin's Creed, a video game. He didn't say anything and neither did I but I kept trying to get out of my car and everytime I'd open the door it would slam back shut on me, I eventually got it open enough to flail out of it and I lost control of my legs. I started screaming for my Dad and Taylor. Dad came outside and carried me back inside where Taylor already was (dunno how) and we just sat there and listened to my father brutally massacre this guy with a chainsaw. Charming.

Dream #3 was the worst. I was at a wedding for a friend I guess, and my ex and all his family were there. I had been with my family but I guess I drifted away from them and bumped into my ex. I proceeded to beg for him back (????) and he denied me saying these exact words "I don't wanna devote my time to a girl, I wanna devote it to WoW". His mother happened to overhear this rejection and told him she's canceling his WoW account and he had a mental breakdown. She then came over to me and told me when they moved he couldn't find his WoW discs because he had to reinstall it or something and started crying. At this point in the dream I remember hysterically laughing, and walking away back to my family. Then he came after ME and begged for me back, I reluctantly said no and he went away.

My dreams really, really do suck. rofl.

In other news: I get to go to Key Largo this year. HELL. YEAH. :) Sooooo pumped!!!!! I love it there, I'm seriously counting the minutes 'til we board the plane!

So far...

I had three outta five classes today at college.

How do I feel about them?

THE GOOD:

*I actually didn't mind seeing so many people I knew, it made me adapt a lot quicker.

*I like two of my teachers, both women. My college study teacher is unimportant to me so I don't care that I don't like him, that class isn't really as crucial as my other two. It's a required freshman seminar type thing.

*I only know about 2 or 3 people in each class, less than I expected.

*My friend and I who I was worried about having tension between (we got into a fairly large fight over the summer) have 3 classes together and are getting along great just like we used to.

THE BAD:

*So far no eye candy. None, nada, zilp, zero, zilch. There are tons of pretty girls my age, guys my age? Next to none. There are a lot of fat smelly men though. NO THANKS.

*My classes are small, I kinda was hoping for at least my ENG101 to be a fairly large sized class.

*High school was a cake walk compared to this. I'm actually going to have to flex my brain muscles to get the grades I want. Keeping up lots of studying plus working 3 shifts (which I probably should work less but I CAN'T AFFORD TO!! COLLEGE IS TOO FAR AND GAS IS EXPENSIVE!!) and keeping Callie in shape, I got a lot on my plate. Kinda sucks, hopefully it'll be okay though

Very excited for my two classes tomorrow, Psychology and World Civilization. I love history and psychology, my two favorite subject areas :) :)

I can't wait to start getting more history classes and less general studies bull shit.

Yap yap yap.

I start college in two days. Freaking out mentally a little bit. Don't know what to make of it. I think I'm just excited to have an excuse to get ready in the mornings and look presentable to the world, because summer to me is all about the no make-up, throw my hair up, put on glasses a t shirt and sweats and roll with it. I like looking pretty, though, only if I have a reason.

I'm contemplating going away to college after a year (or two) of wor-wic. I kinda want to try my hand at being independent and being put in a situation where I almost never get alone time to see how I handle it. PLUS I REALLY NEED NEW PEOPLE IN MY LIFE, and if I don't get "new" at wor-wic there's no way I'm staying. I only have really 3 people I hung out with this summer, and I love them all to death and that's fine, it's not even my girlfriends I need new of. More so.. new men? Haha. Yes, new men.

My friends all went south for college, and keep telling me of all the southern gentlemen they're finding. hmph. Jealousy ensues.

I saw Blink-182 for free as I previously mentioned I think two weekends ago and it was amazing. I almost didn't get to see them because since the entire show was free there were 290348290384 people there and they blocked off the amphitheater for a certain amount of people. Luckily, we snuck into the VIP section with no problems and got to see them O:) Muahaha! I love Blink 182. I also that day got to see Taking Back Sunday, Jet and Weezer, AND got some shopping in at the Columbia Mall, which is a 5 minute walk from where the concert was. So cool! Got an adorable little red plaid dress from Forever 21 for 20 bucks. Cha-ching??

Callie has been SO GOOD lately that I'm nearly flabbergasted. I almost cannot explain how good she's been. When I got her five (six?) years ago, I would of never imagined making this kind of progress with her. She's a new horse, it's awesome! Kudos to Callie and I! :P I have two more shows this year, both the biggest shows of the year. One more event (dressage/stadium/cross country) and we're moving up to pre-novice for the first time this season.. meaning a harder dressage test, and bigger jumps and a longer jump course. She'll do great, I'm very confident!

I also have a two day dressage show the weekend before my birthday (which falls on a monday, SOOOO lame). The fact that all the local dressage trainers encouraged me to go to this was uplifting. It means Callie's making enough progress that they're going to let me on their team, meaning they're confident we'll do well! YAY!

On a final note: I have a strong love for pitbull dogs. I don't know why- maybe it's because there are so many people who are intimidated by them because of their shitty reputation

maybe it's because there's a surplus of them. I juts really want to have a pitbull and show everyone how sweet and wonderful they can be. They're adorable dogs, a girl I work with owns one who from what I hear is the greatest dog ever, she absolutely loves her. I want one that looks like this one --->

They're considered "blue" even though they're grey-ish. Just the color classification I guess.

So I'm going to have my Corgi boy, Luigi.. and a pitbull girl, Daisy! Aha! I need to stop planning ahead, it'll make the future come that much slower, LOL!

and while I'm showing you my puppies of the future, here's a corgi puppy:

Blah blah..

I'm so stoked, I got a ticket to go to Virgin Mobile Festival this Sunday with Rachel in DC!! I GET TO SEE BLINK-182!! :) Jet will also be there, Girl talk, Franz Ferdinand, Weezer, Taking Back Sunday and many more.

I also got a haircut today. I was going to get it shorter, but my hair dresser was like NOOOO I like your long hair.. so instead we cut my bangs and cut my layers shorter. It looks nice! I posted a picture on facebook.

Trying a whole out with the old, in with the new attempt at life since I've been in such a slump lately. I'm trying to bring a lot of changes in with the coming of college.. we'll see how it goes.

:)